#oh well. i'm back home now so that's nice
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In honor of @littlepaws9's birthday, we will pretend the break-up never happened... this is very short and hopefully as fluffy as you like your BuckTommy ;)
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"I wanna take you out tomorrow," Buck breathes into Tommy's ear, half-hidden from the bedsheet.
The answer is a mere grunt, he takes it as approval.
"It's a nice restaurant," he continues to chatter, "a bit outside of town, not so fancy, pretty cozy, I think you'll like it."
Squinting, Tommy questions his pillow with a muffled, "Tomorrow’s New Year’s?"
"I've made the reservation a couple of months ago."
This confession seems to crack Tommy’s eyes finally open. He’s still wearing this adorable scrunched-up sleeping face, but Buck can tell something is working behind his brow. A couple of months ago, they almost broke up over a stupid argument, preceded by an evening at Miceli's. It was easy to guess that Buck – after their very hot reconciliation – had made a kind of vow for the future: never to go to that restaurant again, and to never leave anything to chance.
"Fine, but why are you telling me this at..." Tommy lifts his head briefly to look at the alarm clock on his nightstand, "six in the morning?"
"I've got a shift. And you live closer to Harbor than to the 118."
"Huh?"
"One of us has to get up early, sleepyhead," Buck says with a laugh, pressing a kiss on the fuzzy head sticking out of the sheets.
The restaurant really proved to be beautiful, far from all the chrome and glass that modern places in L.A. considered aesthetically pleasing. This special day seems to call for wine, so they settle for red. At the tables around them, only couples are to be seen. Buck finds Tommy to be unusually taciturn, and he starts to wonder why.
"You tired?" he asks, causing Tommy to look up in surprise from the salad he’s been pushing back and forth with his fork. "We can always have dessert at home, if you want."
He winks, and Tommy scrunches his face in his pretty little smile.
"I'd like that," he returns. "But that's not it."
Putting a hand on Buck’s, he softly explains, "New Year’s Eve is always so… charged. Everybody’s making vows and resolutions, and it’s become some kind of couple event, almost worse than Valentine’s." With a nod, he gestures to the guests around them.
"Too corny?" Buck offers.
"Hm, too many expectations," Tommy cautiously replies. "And... Sometimes you don't know how to fulfill them."
"Expectations," Buck echoes, pondering whatever this might mean. "Look, all I'm expecting is for you to sit there, enjoy your free meal and look at your handsome boyfriend."
"Oh, I can do that," Tommy says with a smirk, raising his glass.
"Totally cool if this isn't your holiday," Buck continues, a little more serious now. "Just wanna be with you, like... every day, you know?"
Tommy tilts his head and seems about to reply, but Buck quickly interrupts him.
"Don't freak out, because yeah, I do admit I'm a fan of holidays, any kind of them. And I… I brought you something. You can find that kitschy, be my guest to hide under the table, and I expect nothing in return, but…"
Suddenly, there’s a small box in his hand, and Tommy’s features slip.
"Evan," he breathes, a trail of disbelief in his voice. "We agreed on no presents."
"I said don't freak out! That was Christmas, by the way. And it’s not what it looks like."
With a sheepish smile, he opens the box. Inside lie two very discreet, very pretty silver ear studs in the shape of the letter E.
"Remember when I once asked you about your pierced ears? You said you got them in your youth but didn’t dare wearing any earrings because of your career choices. And, w…well. You're no longer in the closet. And I know that I'm not the reason for it, but... I'm the reason you admitted it to some of your old friends, and those are my friends too, and that's kind of a big deal somehow. I’m sorry."
"What are you sorry for?"
"It's embarrassing, especially after you’ve made it clear Christmas and New Year’s aren’t your … favorites."
"Well," Tommy stretches, reaching for one of his pockets, pulling out quite a similar little box.
"They’re not," he admits. "There’s a reason I like to volunteer for shifts on those days. Until… well, until you, Evan. I know I kinda chickened out of Christmas, just didn’t feel right to be with your family. You were so understanding, I felt bad. And it was obvious you had something planned for today. It’s adorable when you try to keep a secret. This wasn't exactly what I was expecting... well, that's a conversation for another day. And even if I don't particularly like the day, that doesn't change my affection for you, Evan. I've spent the last few days thinking about how I could show it to you. Pondering what you would like. And, uh... great minds think alike, I guess?"
He flicks open the box to reveal a set of small, silver ear studs. They look like tiny T’s.
"Cheesy, isn't it?" he says with a broad grin that can hardly hide the fact he’s about to burst out laughing.
"Pretty much," Evan laughs before blurting out, "I don't even have pierced ears, babe."
"I know a good tattoo artist."
"Oh, me too. You know what? We'll go there together. Ear piercings for me and a new tattoo for both of us."
"Bold, Evan. You better not get my name engraved, who knows if you’ll still want me next year?"
"Don't worry," Buck replies with a smile. "You're a keep, no doubt about that."
#happy birthday#writing#fanfiction#my fics#BuckTommy#BuckTommy fanfic#buck x tommy#Buck/Tommy#Evan Buckley#Tommy Kinard#kinley#tevan
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lwlslsls I really love their first meeting, and i think it really fit their core. it's so nice written, and im looking forward for more of those two. your reader is so good, i love her so much !! girl who ride on their bike in the middle of the road, you're dear to me (anyways, rafe hit me with your car bc if i die now, i'm gonna die yours)
You meet Rafe in mid-october, the sun shining through the patterns of trees as you rode down the dirt path towards the old Angels oak tree. It had been your favorite place since you were little. you had fond memories of mama bringing you down here for lunch on days where your father got real busy with work. Now, with momma gone, it was your favorite place to read your bible and get away. — the beginning and i'm so much into them 😩
"looks like youre gonna have to catch a ride with me, doll." he hums with a tsk before walking around to throw your bike in the back. you look up at him, frantic, waiting with baited breath for him to come back around. — « doll » i dysfonctionned hahahahahaha
"you dont need to be nervous angel...just wanted to make sure you got home safe." you nod, reaching over to your car door to climb out, watching as he does so as well. you lean against the truck as he grabs your bike and sets it against the wall of your house. you pout up at him, the face of innocence. god, he was gonna have fun with you. — and now angel ?? master of nicknames i swear. can't Wait to be his pretty Lost girl
"your bikes fucking wrecked, n' my trucks all scratched up, i mean, what are you even doin'?" — oh come on, stop acting babyboy
How Bambi!reader met Rafe...
trigger warnings!!: religious trauma, parent death, rafe just being a perv in general, innocence kink, coercion, i think thats all but please message me if there is more!!
at least your truck beats walkin'...
You meet Rafe in mid-october, the sun shining through the patterns of trees as you rode down the dirt path towards the old Angels oak tree. It had been your favorite place since you were little. you had fond memories of mama bringing you down here for lunch on days where your father got real busy with work. Now, with momma gone, it was your favorite place to read your bible and get away.
The beaten pages of your bible flap in the wind, and if you had been paying attention you would have noticed the weird way it was sitting in the basket. you were distracted, the dream you had the night before bombarded your brain with images of abandoned churches, and fire, it felt so real you swore you could feel the smoke burning your lungs when you woke up.
you hit a bump in the road, you had driven over it a million times, however, you watch with a gasp as your old bible launches into the air, flying several feet behind you.
you stop the bike quickly, leaving it in the middle of the road as you panic over potential distress to your bible. you’d had it for awhile and it was worn from how frequently your mother had read it to you, instilling the verses into your brain, but it was still yours and you felt guilty that you’d dropped it.
you look around frantically, so distraught that you don't even notice the car hurdling down the road towards you, clearly holding no intention to stop. you grip the cross hanging from your neck, muttering a prayer for forgiveness as you rush towards it. you bend down to grab it before hearing a loud crash from behind you. you let out a shriek at the noise, practically jumping five feet back as you pop back up. you had never seen cars on this road, or anyone else for that matter, how were you supposed to know there would be one now?
the door to the sleek black truck is quickly thrown open, the prettiest man you had ever seen hops out of it, slamming it behind him. he walks forward to assess the damage with an annoyed scoff before whipping his head towards you.
"the fucks wrong with you, huh?"
your big eyes are all he sees at first, how innocent and delicate you seemed. he watches as your pretty mouth opens in closes silently before setting into the plump pout.
"your bikes fucking wrecked, n' my trucks all scratched up, i mean, what are you even doin'?"
the man stares back at you, taking in your wide-eyed expression. "i-" you stutter, your whole body freezing up as you try to find the words, your doe eyes boring into his. his eyebrows furrow as he studies your startled expression.
"dont talk much, do ya'?"
his voice makes you feel strange, not terrified, but warm. your mothers words flash through your mind, "im sorry...im not ‘posed to talk to strangers...specially boys." a wide smirk spreads on his face as you slowly started to back up. you were fidgety, nervous, and timid like prey, he liked that.
"hey hey hey-" he says, holding out his hands in attempt to calm you. "you dont need to be scared, im just trying to get this figured out...okay?" he says, trying to get you to nod with him. you nod slowly with a soft, "okay" before slowly walking toward him.
"good, thats good." the condescending smirk that decorates his face makes your tummy flutter, wide eyes meeting his. "alright so, you wanna tell me what happened here?" he says as his big hand comes to grip the back of your neck, shoulders scrunching up under his hold before slowly relaxing.
you fidget with the hem of your dress, nerves causing your hands to shake, before you finally mutter out, "i dropped my bible..." he looks down at you, brows furrowing as he tongues his cheek.
"see, what i dont understand is why you left your fucking bike in the middle of the road...?" you pout, pretty glossed lips catching the light. rafe smirks, what he would give to have those wrapped around his-
"i had to go back and get it..." you hum, your pretty voice interrupting his nasty thoughts. he would return to them later, for now he was gonna play with you a little more.
"yeah...im still not getting why you didn’t move your bike out of the way, bambi..."
your cheeks flush at the nickname, you'd never had a boy call you anything like that...in fact really, you'd never had a boy call you much of anything before. Rafe smirks, pleased with himself for making you flush so easily, it certainly was a pretty sight.
"i-...i wasnt thinking about it" your voice is soft, almost angelic, a chill ripples down his spine as he thinks of what you'd sound like with your legs thrown over his shoulders, crying out his name. he smirks, grabbing the back of your head to force you to look up at him.
"yeah? well look at what happens when you dont think, you get yourself into trouble." he condescends, his rude nasally tone sending sparks to your tummy. you whine, realization washing over you as your eyes finally settle on your bike. he was right, it was totaled. he walks towards it, your lip settling between your teeth as you watch his big arms flexing as he pulls your bike out from under the front of his truck.
"looks like youre gonna have to catch a ride with me, doll." he hums with a tsk before walking around to throw your bike in the back. you look up at him, frantic, waiting with baited breath for him to come back around.
'i- no im not supposed to get in the car with strangers." you say while firmly shaking your head, and to your surprise his smirk grows wider. you were innocent, which meant you would be easy to mold. he holds out his hands again in surrender.
"im not gonna hurt you, here, my names Rafe, okay?"
you nod, pausing as he comes closer to you, your heart beating in your ears.
"you gonna tell me your name, bambi?" he says softly, his voice soothed you, making you let out the breath you didnt know you were holding, though for some reason your body was still on alert.
"its y/n" you meet his eyes, getting lost in the false sense of security his pretty blues offered. "alright, how about this, you go get your bible, alright? then ill take you home." you frown, unsure if you should. you didnt really have a reason not to, you knew his name and your bike was totally messed up, which meant you had no other way to get home. you could walk, but it was getting late and honestly, you didnt really want to. reluctantly, your head moves in a soft nod, your pretty doe eyes meeting his as you seek his approval.
"good girl, you go get it and then ill help you into the truck." you flush, your stomach doing summersaults at the praise. you'd never received much of that growing up, having this beautiful boy say that to you so easily, had your pretty panties all sticky.
you pad over to your bible, grabbing it with haste before returning back to him, staring at his pretty face as he helps you into the seat.
"there we go, dollface..." he says before strapping the seatbelt over you. he closes the door gently, as if not to scare you, before he walks back around to the other side. he takes of quick, wondering to himself why he'd never seen you before, silence filling the car as he thinks.
"where do you live bambi..." he suddenly speaks up, bringing you out of the trance you had been in as you watched the trees go by. "umm i live on the cut...not too far from here." you hum softly, and as you speak he nods, smirking as it clicks. you were a pogue, which made things simultaneously easy and hard. easy because tracking and watching over you would be a piece of cake, hard because asking people around him for information about you would be useless.
you go back to watching through the window, your gentle voice breaking the silence as you direct him where to turn and which ways to go. he's mostly silent for the rest of the ride, mulling over things in his head. you were so innocent, he couldn't have anyone getting to you before he did. he watches as you fidget with the hem of your dress, the short material riding up to reveal a bit more of your plush thighs, causing rafe to smirk to himself.
"you nervous bambi?" his voice cuts through what had been a peaceful silence, you had been zoned out as you thought about nothing, off in your own world. you couldn't lie, you were a bit nervous. you felt pressure, the lords presence lingering in the back of your mind as it always did, making you feel sick with guilt. you were gonna have to pray extra hard tonight.
you nod, biting your lip as you bring your knees up to your chest. "yeah...just a little bit" you say as you look over at him, waiting for his reaction. he hums, looking over at you as he pulls onto your street
"you dont need to be nervous angel...just wanted to make sure you got home safe." you nod, reaching over to your car door to climb out, watching as he does so as well. you lean against the truck as he grabs your bike and sets it against the wall of your house. you pout up at him, the face of innocence. god, he was gonna have fun with you.
"thank you rafe...i really appreciate it." he nods, looking you up and down with a smirk. "don't worry about it, y/n, just be more careful next time, okay?" you nod, watching as he gets back into his truck, before padding to your front door. he watches as you bend over to grab the mail, clearly unaware his eyes were on you. he lets out a breathy, "fuck-" as he sees the way your baby pink panties press up against your puffy lips, damp and sticky from the interaction. he snaps a quick picture on his phone before pulling out of your driveway. a smile taking over his face as he puts your address in his notes app as he drives away.
yeah, he was definitely going to have fun with you.
authors note!!: i hope you guys like it!! it took me so long to write the whole fic and lowkey i think its not great but we will see...
tags!!: @nemesyaaa @starkeysprincess @sematarygirls @gibson-g1rl @sirlovel @chloeisbunny @everinlove @meowgirl1 @chrisfortheblackgirls
#bambi!reader x perv!stalker!rafe#bambi!reader#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron prompt#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron blurb#rafe x reader
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Lets start this day with some big news! Our little Flora is officially too big for her crib which means she's grown some! They do grow fast, don't they? It's almost hard to keep up!
Just look at her! My little princesa! She's wiggling and cooing and happy as can be and what else is there to say? I'm soaking in the moment with her and have little else to say. I just feel so lucky and fortunate and I know I keep saying this but all my love is for her right now!
I would have played with her a little more but I think all that growing wore her out, as it tends to do, so I would let her have her nap and whip up a pizza! Pizzas are easy to make thankfully and this one will just be a regular classic pepperoni as you can't go wrong with that. I think I do make a pretty good pizza pie! That's amore!
I think the scent of pizza brings Pascal to the kitchen but when he arrives he's looking a little sad. I admit, the frown on his face makes me forget for a moment that he's been oogling models in his spare time and I can't wait to offer my emotional support.
"What's wrong?" I ask, putting aside his wandering eyes for just a moment. I bet it has something to do with futbol, usually if he's sad that is why, but I can't ignore one significant difference about him. "You umm, forget to shave?"
"That's just it, my razor broke and I might have to go out like this," he looks so disheartened even as he rubs the new beard that now adorns his face.
"You look great! In fact, I'd say keep it!"
"Well, if you say so."
I can't help but chuckle at how dramatic he's being. "You look fine either way! Actually, I think it suits you! You're a daddy now and it matures you some."
"I guess it's not so bad..." he mumbles although the frown on his face doesn't budge. I remind him that there is fresh pizza in the kitchen so if that doesn't make him feel a little better than I don't know what will.
I've decided not to bring up the model oogling just yet. Eventually, yes, but right now I just don't feel it is the right time. I've thought a lot about it last night but I want to keep those thoughts to the side, not let them consume me. He's a man. I know, that's a poor excuse, but it is also the truth. It is also the truth that really I'm still very very very much into him and that right now is enough for me to set it aside and give him the benefit of the doubt.
Instead, my mind drifts to bigger things, longer term things, another baby kind of things and maybe, hopefully, a proposal. Yeah, the big M. I can't help but wonder when it will happen or...if it will happen.
I'll be honest, I probably would've spent the rest of the night overthinking about Pascal's liking history on Simstagram but the moment I see Flora's little face it grounds me completely. She's the result of our passion and love and I won't throw that away on a whim. Feeding her, holding her, playing with her reminds me of what truly matters.
Oh! She loves to hiccup! That makes her a hiccuper? It's the most adorable thing, it's a squeaky little sound and whenever she does it she almost looks confused as if she's asking 'did I do that?' and I have to remind her to have manners! A little lady doesn't go around hiccuping at others after all!
And I love her so much that I am taking her everywhere I go in my little carrier. Thankfully, she's a quiet one and she's pretty calm about being carried around. Only wriggling and cooing here and there and hopefully taking in what will hopefully be her home for many years to come.
Oh! Also, as I'm out and about, I notice that people are recognizing me? Nothing major, a few waves and hellos along with my name "Frida!" and I can't help but wonder is it from my food stand or me new growing SimTube channel? Either way, it does feel nice to be noticed! There's even a fellow food stand chef who offered me a free hotdog but I had to decline because Flora started to whine and flail, her way of wanting to go back home I think.
Oh, and Pascal did spend time with Flora after he came back from a game. I SWEAR she was giving him the side-eye. I might have ummm vented to her about the traveling eyes of men. Not that she could understand a word I've said but maybe, just maybe, she picked up on it in my tone...or it could be she's unsure of him because she really doesn't get to see him too much, he's always working, after all.
Meanwhile, in the poorer part of town, Sara and Simón were curled up together in his humble trailer. He had called her over saying that there was something important they needed to discuss but it didn't end up being much of a conversation. Instead, he simply asked for her loyalty and her love.
She wanted to, she wanted him to be the one, Watcher how she wanted to. He could be her escape, her distraction, her addiction, her everything, how she wanted every bit of that, but she knows oft times the heart doesn't get what it wants. The brain though, the brain can be a lot more realistic with its desires.
"I know what you are," she said suddenly, the realization blowing past her like a chill breeze. Her hands roamed his chest, the tips of her fingers searching for something, reassurance, maybe? The mystery of him perhaps, the missing puzzle piece that would make this thing between them work.
"I know you'd figure it out," his reply was quiet and his voice heavy. He wasn't shocked. He wouldn't deny it or talk her out of it. He couldn't run from his past like Frida because he had become his past and now as he looked at Sara he wondered if she could ever be part of his future. If she should. The danger he could put her through..."So, what do you think?"
"I don't want this to end," she decided, the words surprising even herself. Maybe, just maybe, he was worth the risk. Love is always worth the risk...
Frida Varela - Next Episode 9.5
#The Sims#The Sims 4#ts4#Sims#Sims 4#sims legacy#my sims#generation 1#soot#sims of our time#pascal alcocer#frida varela#simon barrera#sara chavez#florencia alcocer
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ateez soft hours pt. 2
how they would treat you while you're on your period
maknae line
warning: mdni, period sex, smut
word count: 2k
author's note: I uh. yeah.
choi san: "What's up, babe?" He sounds out of breath over the phone, "I'm finishing up at the gym."
"Everything hurts and I want to die." You whine.
"Oh, no, my poor baby! Do I need to bring you any supplies on my way over?" His voice was sweet, always so attentive. You felt lucky every day that he grew up with an older sister.
"No, I'm okay with all that, but thank you. I just want you to come lay on top of me with your entire body weight."
"Anything you want, honey. You know you could come join me at the gym, exercise helps relieve cramps, allegedly." He was mainly joking.
You groaned, "Ugh, Choi San stop talking about exercise right now or I'm going to turn homicidal. You know any other day I would have gone with you."
He laughed at your dramatics, "I know, precious. I just had to tease, I'm sorry. I'll be sweet the rest of the night, promise."
"I mean if you really want me to break a sweat, I have some ideas for cardio we could do later." Heat curls in your aching abdomen at the thought of it. Glad your boyfriend has never been squeamish about period sex.
"Oh?" He asked, you were silent until the implication hit him, "Ohhhh. Well, yes, of course." His voice lowered so he couldn't be heard by anyone around him, "You know I'll take care of you, baby. Make you feel so good. No touching yourself until I get there, okay?"
Your thighs clenched together at his words, "Okay, yes, I'll be good." Your voice was breathy, already laced with lust.
"Mmh, good girl. Already getting all bothered for me, aren't you? I'll see you soon, honey." He didn't give you a chance to reply before the line went dead.
San was so good at picking up on your cues, happy to take the lead or to follow, depending on your mood. You liked him any way you could get him but your favorite was when he gently took the reins, giving you soft but stern instructions and showering you with praise all night, talking you through every orgasm. The thought of it made it hard for you to keep the promise you had just made to him.
You decided to shower instead, waiting for him to come home, feeling a little yucky after being in bed all day.
By the time you emerged in nothing but a towel, San was already there.
"Hi, gorgeous." He enveloped you in a big hug. He had showered at the gym, it seemed, hair still damp, cheeks rosy, comfy in a t-shirt and sweatpants.
"Sannie." You sighed into his chest.
He pulled back and trailed his hands down your arms, "Look at you, all clean just for me?"
You nod, looking down, feeling shy and exposed. Hormones, probably.
He pulled the towel open to look at you, "Oh, honey. I'll never get over how stunning you are." He pulled the towel all the way off, tossing it over the still-open bathroom door, reaching for you again, hands warm as they fell to your slightly boated tummy. He always made you feel so beautiful even when you felt like a hot pile of dog shit. "I brought something." He kissed your forehead then went to his backpack, pulling out a bottle of massage oil, "Thought this might be nice. I know your body is achey. Does a massage sound nice?"
"It sounds incredible." You smile at him, tears in your eyes, feeling especially grateful for him in that moment.
"Come on then, jagi." He leads you to your bedroom, grabbing a new towel on his way, to keep the massage oil - and whatever other potential bodily fluids - off of your bedding.
He has you on your stomach, deft hands turning you to putty at their touch, paying special attention to your lower back, where he knows carries extra tension. You're nearly in a trance when he wipes one hand on the towel, still kneading one ass cheek with his other hand, evidently able to tell what the massage was doing to you, your core becoming wet with arousal. He removed his other hand and you hear a squirting noise. When his hand returns, you realize the noise had been him applying lube to his fingers, which were now teasing your already slick slit, up and down, movements slow. Your legs parted further on instinct.
"Yes, baby, that's it. This is what you wanted, hm? Don't worry, I'm going to make you feel good." San’s voice was low and you felt yourself grind back into his fingers at it. "Patience, love." He chuckled, "We have all the time in the world."
His fingers found your clit, applying pressure to either side of it, before finally brushing over the top, just briefly before they slid down your folds once again, his other hand spreading your ass cheek as he held his fingers to your entrance. He didn't have to apply much pressure at all, you were so turned on that your cunt sucked him in greedily. He thrust them in and out a few times before curling them forward, hitting your sweet spot. Your back arched at the sensation and you could tell he was smiling behind you, "Mmh, so responsive, jagiya. I could do this for hours."
And you believe him, too. He sets a pace but slows down when you try to fuck yourself back onto his fingers, "No, no, sweetheart. Let me bring you there. I want you as relaxed as you were when I was massaging you, okay?"
"Yes, sir." You manage, face squished by the mattress, brain floating towards another planet already.
"Good girl." He says, fingers returning to continue their ministrations.
At some point, his thumb finds your tight ring of muscle, taunting him as it sat there within reach right above your now absolutely quivering cunt, circling it and adding just a little pressure. A gasp leaves your mouth at the sensation, surprised at how much you like it. "Mmh, so sensitive. You like this don't you?" You were so wet, every nerve alight at his touch, seconds from falling apart, holding on because you knew he would want to tell you when to let go. "You've been so good for me, angel, why don't you go ahead and come? On my fingers like a good girl."
Your body obeyed immediately, pleasure rolling through you. You thought your orgasm might never end, it was unlike anything you had ever felt before. "There we go baby, just like that. God, you're stunning." You were still clenching when he removed his fingers, just long enough to strip off his boxers and tank top, climbing back up and guiding the tip of his cock to your absolutely drenched core, letting you suck him in, inch by inch. The way he filled you had you immediately working up to your second peak, "Christ, honey, you're so wet. So. Fucking. Tight." He punctuated his words with the snap of his hips as your walls clenched around him again and again.
"Sannie-" You cried out in pleasure.
"I know, kitten, I'm right here with you." He purred. By the time you're worked up to your third release, he's cumming in perfect time with you, cock quivering as he pumped you full. "Oh my god, yes, fuck." He cried out. "You were made to take me, weren't you, baby? So fucking good for me." He praised you as he pulled out, collapsing beside you and dragging your limp body over to lay on his glistening chest.
"Sannie, that was... fuck." You couldn't form proper words, "Thank you."
"No need to thank me, jagi." He kissed your forehead, "The pleasure is all mine."
song mingi: He barely stirs as you roll on top of him, body aching, too early to do anything about it.
"Mmh, baby," Mingi’s morning voice is deep, raspy, one of his big hands pulls your leg up over his hips, the other tugging you closer to his chest.
You fall back asleep for a while. When you wake up, your head is a little more clear, and you realize you've bled through your underwear onto Mingi’s boxers. Heat flushes your cheeks in embarrassment and he stirs as he feels your body tense.
"'S wrong, jagi?" He rubs your back as his eyes blinked open slowly.
"Mingi, I'm so sorry, I-" you move your leg and he realizes what happened.
"C'mere." He pulls you back down into a slow kiss, apparently immune to your morning breath. You can't help but let out a moan as his hand finds your ass cheek, helping your hips grind into his thigh. "Yeah, you like that?" He all but growls into your ear as his hands work your stained underwear off, following with his own swiftly behind.
He rolls you over wordlessly, spooning you from behing, his already hard length in hand as you open your legs for him. He drags the head of his cock from your clit down to your soaked entrance, repeating it a few times until you're whining, grinding your ass back, begging to be taken.
"Oh, really?" He whispers, kissing down your shoulder, "You want me that bad, hm?"
"Please, Mingi, yes." You beg.
He holds his cock to your entrance, "Don't worry baby, I've got you." He pushes forward slowly, tip barely buried inside of you. "Go ahead, then." He instructs. You obey, working yourself down rather easily with the extra lubrication as you stretch over his large dick. You can tell he's watching himself disappear inside of you, his hair tickling your shoulder.
"Ah, fuck, jagi. You take me so well." He moans, beginning to lay long, lazy strokes. You knew when you first saw him dance on stage that his stroke game would be incredible, and you were pleased to find out how right you were when you started dating. It's only improved as he's gotten to know you better.
His hand reaches around to find your clit, fingers bumping into his shaft as he pleasures you, the perfect amount of pressure, circling and stroking. You were cramping so bad when you woke up but now your ab muscles had been given something real to focus on. You lean back, head falling to his broad shoulder as your whole body spasms in release. "Fuck yeah, just like that, baby." Mingi growls, his pace picking up as he works you through it, hips pumping harder and faster until he finally stills, and the feeling of his cock pumping you full of his seed is nearly enough to have you on the edge of coming again. All he has to do is play with your tender nipples and lay a few more strategic strokes and you're clenching around him again, breathless, whole body boneless, insides jellied.
You both caught your breath for a minute before Mingi spoke again. "Baby, I know we had plans for the farmers market today, but I'm sore from dance practice yesterday and I know you don't feel well. What if I make us some breakfast and start a load of laundry and then we can stay in all day and watch movies until I have to go to the studio tonight?"
You crane your neck around to kiss him, off-kilter from the odd angle, "That sounds perfect, baby."
"Mmh, good, I'm glad." He kissed you again, "Let me go grab you some Midol and start the shower, okay?"
"Okay. Thank you for being so sweet to me."
"Of course baby," He smiled as he extracted himself from your back, "I'm happy to. You always take care of me, it's the least I could do."
jung wooyoung: Hands on your waist startle you as you're washing dishes, audio book playing through your headphones concealing the noise of Wooyoung letting himself in.
“Ah!” You nearly drop the bowl in your hands, “Jesus! You scared the shit out of me!”
You feel yourself relax into his touch as he hooks his chin over your shoulder and moves one headphone off of your ear, “Baby, you're shouting.”
You huff as you place the bowl onto the drying rack, “Whose fault is that?”
He begins tickle you, “Not my fault!”
“Youngie!” You whine as you turn around in his arms, trying to evade his attacks, “Stop it!”
“Aw, grumpy,” his pout matches the one on your face.
You slap his chest playfully, “Hey, I have the right to be grumpy, my period just started.”
His expression turns sympathetic immediately, “Oh, jagi.” He kisses your forehead, “How can I help?”
You considered it for a second, “Well, I bought ingredients to make dinner but I really don't feel like cooking, so I was thinking about ordering in instead.”
“No way.” He grasped your face in his hands, “I'm gonna get you set up in the living room and then I'll get started cooking, okay?”
“Are you sure? You don't have-”
He cuts you off with a swift kiss, “No protesting. I'm happy to do it.”
You watch one episode of the show you've seen a thousand times, curled up on the living room couch, but as you see the preview for the next episode, you realize it's one you don't care much for, plus, the smell coming from the kitchen is calling your name. You turn off the TV and walk in right as Wooyoung is bending down to put the food in the oven to bake, making yourself right at home behind him on the island. He shuts the oven door and removes your light pink oven mitts- which look adorable on him - turning to spread your legs open so he can stand between them, arms caging you in as he presses his forehead to yours.
“Hi, beautiful.” You've always found his voice endearing, but it's especially so with the slight rasp it gets when he's jonesing for a you fix.
“Hi, handsome.” You barely get the words out before he's kissing you. Slow, deep movements from his mouth draw a moan from yours.
You can already feel heat pooling between your legs at his proximity and you pull back to ask, “Baby?”
“Yes, darling?” He smiles, eyes dark with desire, reveling in how he knows he drives you crazy.
“How much time do we have?”
“Twenty minutes,” His hand skims the waistband of your loose sleep shorts, sending shivers down your spine, “Plenty of time.”
You don't get a chance to reply before his fingers find their way inside your underwear, circling your throbbing bud slowly before dipping down to gather the slick that has gathered at your entrance, taking his time as he trails them back up, exploring your folds before resuming his ministrations at your clit.
Your hand finds his waist to hold onto for support, getting carried away with the sensations he's providing.
His thumb takes over for his fingers as they work their way south once again, circling your entrance before plunging them inside, curling them to hit your sweet spot.
“Wooyoung-” You gasp, your muscles already tensing at the magic he's working.
His lips tickle your earlobe as he whispers, “Shh, jagi, I've got you.”
Your head falls to his shoulder as his fingers set a pace, the sound of how wet you are at his touch only serving to double it.
You whimper as your walls start to clench around them and you can almost picture the smirk he's wearing, “That's it, pretty, just like that. Come on my fingers.” His words only intensify the sensation of pleasure as you clench around his fingers, panting as you call out his name.
He pulls his hand out when he's sure you've ridden out the waves, holding his slick fingers, streaked in some places with blood, in front of his face, devilish look on his face, eyebrow cocked.
“Wooyoung!” You scold him, “Don't you dare-”
But it's too late, he's popped his fingers into his mouth, sucking them clean, eyes rolling back in his head at the taste.
Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Beep-beep!
The timer goes off, interrupting you from further chastising him.
“What?” A smile takes over his face, “You taste good all the time, honey.”
You roll your eyes, but secretly find it cute.
He insists on feeding you bites of your dinner later, wiping the corners of your mouth with a napkin when you're finished.
Later, in the shower, you let him bend you over and hit it from behind, pulling out last second to finish, hot liquid landing on your back, your ass. He helps you wash your body to make up for it.
Once in bed, he kisses you all over, making you giggle and squirm before finally relenting and tugging you to his chest, stroking your hair as your breath evens out and you drift off to sleep.
choi jongho: You almost wonder if the man has logged into your period tracking app on his phone, uncanny in how he can pretty much always predict it. Eyes studying you a few days out as you tear up unexpectedly at a particularly sappy car commercial. You find your cabinets stocked with your favorite snacks the next day.
The next morning, you wake up bloated, cramping, and grumpy. As you head into the bathroom, you realize Jongho has re-stocked your pain killers and period supplies. You call him when you get back into bed.
He answers on the second ring, “Hi, princess, how are you feeling today?”
“I swear you're more accurate than my tracking app, you fortune teller.” You can't help but be amazed at his abilities.
He chuckles, “No, peach, I just pay attention.”
You smile at the cute pet names. He's always trying out new ones on you. You can hear traffic in the background, “You're the best. What are you up to?”
“I'm about five minutes from your apartment.” He answers.
“Choi Jongho!” You giggle, “How did I get so lucky?”
“I'm the lucky one, jagi. I'll see you soon.”
He's good to his word, chocolate and a teddy bear in his arms, backpack slung over one shoulder when you open the door to let him in.
“Baby!” You all but squeal, “You're too good to me.”
He puts his things down on the coffee table and pulls you into a big bear hug, “Anything for my perfect girl.”
You pull back and he traces your cheek with his thumb before leaning in to kiss you, his lips slow and careful, hands gentle as he pulls you close. Your tongue probes into his mouth and he allows it, a moan coming forward from somewhere deep in his chest. He detached his lips, “Do you want to go to your bedroom, sweetheart?”
“Yes, please.” You simper.
He scoops you up bridal style and carries you to your bed, placing you gingerly onto the bed, climbing on top of you, kissing you into the mattress.
“Baby,” You stop him as he reaches for the hem of your shirt.
“What's up?” He falls to the bed beside you, not wanting to crowd you.
“I'm probably going to sound crazy and too needy-”
“Hush, don't talk about my girlfriend like that. Tell me what you need, ma chérie.”
You giggle at his attempt at French, “I don't really want to like… have sex. Because I feel icky. But I still want to. You know.”
He smiles fondly at you, “Where's your vibrator, gorgeous?”
You blush, pointing to your bedside table drawer.
He is relentless with your favorite toy, talking you through multiple orgasms, leaving your legs jellied, panting and sweating.
“So good for me, darling. I love watching you come.” He praises you as he switches the vibrator off, placing it on the bed beside him, pulling your boneless body to his chest.
“Thank you for understanding,” you murmur into his chest, “Sorry I didn't feel like doing more.”
“You never need to apologize for something like that.” He kisses your forehead, “Promise I'm happy to do it anytime. Anything to help my baby feel good.”
The teddy bear he brought is the weighted kind you microwave to help alleviate cramps, which he fixes up for you before curling up with you on the couch, chocolate within reach. He turns on your favorite comfort movie without being asked, humming the score softly. The sound of his voice melts your heart. You feel yourself drift off to sleep before the movie ends, with Jongho’s strong, warm hands moving absentmindedly across any expanse of skin within his reach, heart feeling fuzzy with affection towards your sweet boyfriend.
#ateez#ateez smut#ateez san#ateez mingi#ateez wooyoung#ateez jongho#ateez soft hours#ateez period sex#period sex
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wooyoung - daycare
word count : 791
happy birthday to wooyoung !!
-
"shush! do you want them to wake up?" you ask wooyoung.
"you're whispering too loud too!" wooyoung replies.
you hear a noise and look over at the sleeping children to see one of them just moving in their sleep. the child eventually settles and you sigh out of relief.
"hand me the trays," wooyoung whispers.
you nod and hand him the remaining trays that need to be cleaned. he leaves the room to put them in a dishwasher while you tidy up the room.
you and wooyoung are best friends who work at a daycare on the weekends. both of you started a few months ago, but now you only work on the weekends because of school. there aren't too many kids today, but there's a lot of cleaning to do as per usual.
the kids are taking a nap before they go home for the day, but you and wooyoung want to go home as soon as possible. the hard thing is trying to clean and not wake the kids up.
you clean up one of the areas, picking up scattered toys and books that the kids had been playing with earlier. you put everything back into their respective places.
when you're done, you join wooyoung in the kitchen area. he's putting some food away and any dirty dishes that weren't put in the dishwasher yet.
"you good?" you ask him.
"yea. just have these few," he replies. "how much time do we have left?" he asks.
you look around for a clock and find one on the wall. "like fifteen minutes," you answer.
all of a sudden, you start to hear crying from the room that the kids are sleeping in. you hurry back in and go to the child. you sit down and rub the child's back, trying to soothe them to sleep for the remaining fifteen minutes.
once the child settles down, you move and sit against the wall, deciding to finish everything you need to do once the kids wake up from their nap. wooyoung walks into the room and notices you.
"what are you doing?" he whispers.
"waiting," you answer. he just nods his head and starts tidying the room as needed.
—
"bye bye miss y/n and mister wooyoung," one of the kids says to both of you.
"bye! have a nice day," you say.
"see you later," wooyoung says as kids leave with their parents. "woah! buddy, don't run," he says to another kid.
you feel something tug your apron and look down to see one of the kids. "miss y/n," the child speaks.
you crouch down a bit. "is something wrong?" you ask.
they shake their head. "i have a question," they say to you, "are you and wooyoung married?" they ask.
you try to keep your composure but laugh. you shake your head. "no, we're best friends!" you say to them.
"but my mommy says that her best friend is my daddy," they reply, looking confused, "so you're not married?"
you pat their head, "you can best friends with anyone. it doesn't have to just be someone you're married to. you have a lot of best friends here, right?" you say to them.
it seems like a lightbulb has turned on, "oh, i think i get it!" they say to you with a smile.
"well, you're very smart. i knew you would," you say while fixing their hat. "i'll see you next time, okay?"
"okay! bye bye!" the child runs off, going to their mom. you wave and continue to watch the kids who are still waiting for their parents.
after all of the kids leave, you and wooyoung finish up cleaning before closing the daycare up.
"dude," you call out to wooyoung as you get into the passenger seat of his car, "they think we're married."
"huh? married?" wooyoung replies, "that's kind of cute." he starts his car up and drives out of the parking lot.
"yea, it is, but they're little, they don't know anything yet," you reply. "hey, can we pick up food?"
"idiot, are you paying attention? i didn't even drive in the direction to our neighborhood," wooyoung replies as he stops at a stop sign.
"i'm just asking! you always bicker with me..." you say to him, mumbling at the end.
"well i need someone to annoy," he says and continues to drive down the street. "you're paying for food."
"again? we just got our paychecks!"
"you're the one who didn't pay me back yet!"
"ugh, jung wooyoung! you're glad i like working with you or else i'd smack you in front of the kids.
"excuse me, you have hit me! you and the kids bully me every time!"
"we do not!"
"yes you do!"
#sweetiesicheng#kpop#ateez wooyoung#ateez#sweetiesicheng ateez#ateez x y/n#ateez x you#ateez x reader#ateez fic#ateez fanfic#ateez fanfiction#ateez jung wooyoung#jung wooyoung fanfic#jung wooyoung x reader#wooyoung x you#wooyoung x reader#wooyoung fanfic#wooyoung fanfiction#jung wooyoung#wooyoung#wooyoung fic#wooyoung x y/n#jung wooyoung fic#jung wooyoung x y/n#ateez ice on my teeth#ateez scenarios#wooyoung imagines#wooyoung scenarios#ateez imagines#ateez golden hour
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It took me a while to stop crying and resolve to help people who will be targeted (starting 1/20/25). I am also trying to reconnect to even a scrap of joy, by tiptoeing back into writing. But...I keep analyzing my WIPs through the lens of how That Guy will be making half the country feel, wondering, "Is X funny enough? Is Y topic too serious?" Help?! Is it worth writing/querying anything that's not totally escapist? Are there genres that should just stay in a drawer right now?
No need to wait until January to help people! :-)
As to the writing piece: I think you are overthinking it. And hey, I get that! Half the country is still somewhat in "reeling mode", it hasn't even been a month, no need to make any huge decisions or change the course of your writing life or fret about queries that you aren't ready to send anyway right this second. Give yourself some grace. Do some deep breathing.
Nobody knows what the future will bring.
Hey, maybe people will want to read more than they ever have and publishing will thrive across all genres. Maybe there will be an unforeseen trend of books about cowboys in space or something that will make a genre flourish that we haven't ever even thought of before!
Or, maybe the tarriffs will eff publishing up so badly we won't need to worry about ANY genres anymore. Maybe he'll sell us all to Daddy Vladdy for a nickel or start Civil War II and we'll all have to become resistance fighters. (Or, maybe we'll get lucky and the meteor will come; that might be better, because I don't have much to offer in the way of actual resistance fighting unless the troops need children's books or cookies!)
But since none of those lines of thinking are particularly helpful or healthy, maybe let's not focus on speculating about all the random possible scenarios. It's too much! Your brain will break!
Here's what is within your purview: YOUR LITTLE CORNER OF THE WORLD. That includes your work, yes, but also your home, your family, your personal behavior and habits, your physical and mental health, and the well-being of your communities (both literal, like, the people who live near you, and figurative, the people near you or even across the country or the globe with whom you have shared values, etc)
I'm not an expert obvs, but I do feel like, when I stop "reeling" and thinking about whatever bizzaro outrage some politician is perpetrating and start thinking about what tangible things I can do to help support MY LITTLE CORNER OF THE WORLD, I feel a lot better. More useful.
(Like, how about instead of doomscrolling, I actually take that time and put my impotent rage to use pulling out the dying tomato plants and getting the yard ready for winter? How about instead of crying into my pillow, I gather a bunch of stuff to donate to a local charity? OH LOOK, I FORGOT ABOUT THE NEWS FOR A WHILE AND GOT THINGS DONE AND MADE MY CORNER OF THE WORLD BETTER! And now I'm tired and can take a nice shower and watch something silly on TV and go to sleep! Yay!)
What I'm saying is, AFTER you do the deep breathing and give yourself grace and all that stuff -- maybe DON'T think about your WIPS through the lens of "OMG what horror show is that freak in the white house doing" or "what will random terrible people think about what I'm doing" -- but rather, think, how do *I* feel about what I'm doing?
We have limited time on this earth -- do you WANT to spend your time on this? Will working on this bring you joy? Does the idea of writing it excite you? Will it reading it bring other people in your communities joy, or hope, or escapism, or important information, or inspiration, or *something else positive*? Those are the kinds of projects you should focus on, imo.
Obviously I have no clue what "Trends" will be coming up in the future, or what the publishing landscape or the world will look like at all -- but I DO SUSPECT that what we will need the most is books that bring something positive to the table. Whether that means a book full of pure delight/escapist entertainment, or reminders about what is beautiful in the world and special about humanity, or tools to help people enact change, or fuel for the next generation of rebels and resistance fighters, or whatever it is.
And, I think that "something positive" could come in the form of fiction, nonfiction, and pretty much ANY genre or category.
(Probably not a great time for extremely bleak / hopeless books, and certainly not a great time for books that you yourself are not passionate about. Writing and publishing is hard enough - don't do the projects that are a misery on top of all that!)
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Finally I'm back home from my mom's.... felt like the weekend went on for fucking ever.....
anyway, have a quick doodle of fynn holding some mozzarella sticks that were poorly removed from their background but you can't really tell because they're so small
#fynn art#paint.net#furry#furry art#sfw furry#furry anthro#wolf furry#wolf fursona#quick doodle#mozzarella sticks#why did this weekend feel so damn long#oh well. i'm back home now so that's nice#and i don't have to go on tuesday cause my stepdad's company got bought out so there's a thing they both have to go do that day#so that's nice :3
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the amount of effort that goes into figuring out what to cook and eat every day is RIDICULOUS. i used to think people were so weird and boring for eating the same thing every single day but it truly does make life so much easier
#and also it's nice to know exactly what your food is going to taste like before you eat it#like when i get unfamiliar takeout. half the time i'm like. oh.#i'm going to have to eat all of this. or be judged.#so i just do my best to suppress my gag reflex and Get Through It and then it makes me sick so what was even the point#i think my parents spoiled me. and the most annoying thing is they're significantly better at cooking now than when i was a child#so when i go over i eat three delicious home cooked meals + snacks and they're all different and amazingggg#and then i come back to texas and i am like. googling 'how to feed myself healthy vegetarian'#because I do NOT have the time or money or energy to cook three beautiful delicious meals Just For Me#i think this would be easier with a partner#this whole week i bought a fuckton of mediterranean groceries and i have been making and eating food!!#mediterranean is close enough to indian that i like it well enough#unfortunately for me. i am def going to have to learn how to cook indian food to get through life. because i cannot fucking eat american#i don't know HOW you guys do it i'm so spoiled#i'm assuming meat is this really amazing wonderful thing that just adds flavor to everything#(it is physically repulsive to me and the couple times ive accidentally tasted it it's bleh so i refuse to partake)#i think it's an acquired taste but it magically makes ur food better. that is my understanding of how meat works#cause american vegetarian food is the saddest fucking thing i've ever tasted#i still think about my coworker i was talking to about my food issues and he was like. 'do u understand that you have been given a gift#by having constant access to tasty food your entire life. i ate unseasoned green beans every day of my childhood. learn how to fucking cook#indian food already.' truly a horrific thing to hear. but i'm calling my parents more and going HOW TO COOK VEGETABLE? BEAN? PLEASE HELP??#and by god i am not going to turn into my coworker.#anyways we start with baby steps. lentils and rice it is next week .-. going to the indian store to buy pickles to make it more tolerable#and i have my cabinet full of spices already at least#i wish i was less pickyyy#sometimes lalita cooks indian food for me and i'm like wow. i love and appreciate u for feeding me. but this sure is south indian food#i don't understand How they use spices. it feels like they toss as much of as many bottles as they can into every dish#and it's. the taste is just OW OW OW and nothing else. where's the nuance. the flavor.#and i like it when things are spicy!! i can even eat things where the flavor is just Hot. but not when she cooks it.#she will like watch my face when i take a bite and then go 'if you don't like it i'm throwing away all my pots and running away'#which. honestly a fair reaction. the problem is that i am incapable of lying
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god, i suck at mario 2. i'm disparaging my legacy.... seriously, how the fuck have i beaten the lost levels without save states but can't get past 1-3 in american mario 2???? why am i not instantly good at a game i've never really played, god!!!! my mother would be disappointed in me
post writing the tags turtle here: i started rambling about my childhood made the tags longer than the actual post and don't feel like putting them onto the actual post because that'd be too much work and i'm feeling lazy. read em if you want personal bullshit! or don't. i'm not care
#one of the few luxuries we had growing up was a super nintendo#it was pretty much exclusively my mom's. and some of my earliest memories are watching her play super mario all stars and a link to the pas#she only specifically ever played mario 2 and 3. i never saw mario 1 or the lost levels as a kid#guess they're not as replayable to her. she says she's beaten both once#for some reason i remember playing a fair amount of donkey kong country. we had all 3 of them#i think as a kid i got farthest in the 3rd one? always got weird vibes from that one but it was still fun#growing up *my* home console was an N64. mom didn't really like it for whatever reason so it usually lived in my room#i still remember buying majora's mask from a toy store that's not in business anymore. i think that was one of my only games that wasn't a#hand-me-down. i think it was that and turok rage wars#as far as i remember everything else was given by a relative or a relative's boyfriend or something#still don't know where a lot of them went#i used to have the tony hawk games on there. and i think i remember gex? i think those were my cousins boyfriends stuff#i guess he took em back at some point#last i heard about that cousin she was in jail wacked out on drugs#i remember her boyfriend being a good guy. i think she got him on drugs or something. bad influence i guess#i hope he's doing better now. as an adult i'd say he's too good for her#or maybe i'm just nostalgic for one of the only positive male figures i had as a child. hell if i know#tags are now longer than the actual post. i don't feel like movin em to the post now. too much work#oh well! such is life#or as the franch say... Say Luh V!#i hope reading that made a francophone physically hurt. i hope they feel pain because of me#sorry that's not very nice. i'm not gonna delete that though.
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I actually realized i hate work. Won't be putting any effort into this anymore ♡
#sure whatever#it's funny because when i applied there i really really wanted this job#and it had nothing to do with that one person i got a little overly attached to#and when i started working there it was fine but i think really the only reason i liked it was because of that colleague#and now he's gone there's only annoying things left#also maybe i got too cuddled by him because he's always had my back until now#but i have to try to get things from the design team now and they just straight up ignore me lmao#like. my colleague asked me last week if i could ask them to edit some images which i did and they ignored me for 2 days#then HE sent them a follow up message and surprise surprise the images were there within 30 minutes#now again. he asked me to request some images and then built them into the journal#i request them. i hear nothing back. i send a follow up saying it's kinda important. i get nothing#oh well sorry man. guess you'll have to do that yourself after all (:#(i think it's really nice he's trying to give me so much more responsibility and all but if he's not there to back me up#it's literally not working because Everyone Is Ignoring Me :)))#also two weeks from now I'll be alone in our office because my other colleague who's in the same office as us#has announced she's gonna go share the office with someone else because she's gonna be alone otherwise#lol thanks#also some other shit someone posted in the group chat today which really pissed me off#AND the fact i got ignored AGAIN when i asked for work :) like bitches. i literally just watched netflix on my private laptop#while wiggling the mouse on my work laptop until i got off lmao#i won't go to the office tomorrow either#i was gonna go but i can't do shit there if i get ignored again#at least at home i can do whatever i want when they decide i should just get money for wasting my time ♡#i might actually just not work tomorrow#I'll probably log in just to see if there's any updates on the images situation but if not I'll fuck right off#fun times#(also maybe just maybe I'm generally a little negative these days. that may play into it. I'm sensing that sweet summertime blues ♡#((who cares if it's because of my father's death or because of my colleague's going away or because of general existential despair due to#university.... i'm just annoyed) )#void screams
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me: yeah so we haven't had a meeting about it yet, but I asked my coworkers about past interns and why they left; chances are they won't hire me full time at my internship immediately. However, the chances of having it extended are pretty good, and I like what I'm doing, and they're going to be talking about budget in July. Sure my finances are a little tight but--
my sperm donor (only slightly exaggerated): look for a new job immediately and tell them if they won't hire you full time you're leaving. and no, I don't care if you don't find something in your industry and you have to settle for a job that will make you hate being alive even more than you already do. Also I'm going to ignore how long it took you to find this internship to begin with
me:
#dylawa rambles#dylawa rants#this man gives zero fucks about actually seeing me go into what I fucking trained to do he just wants me to make him money#i am literally sick to my stomach right now thinking about job hunting again#'i want to see you successful and happy' okay why are you still charging me rent then#why are you making job hunting even more of a traumatic experience than it already is#literally said to him 'I don't trust my chances of finding a new job within two months' and his response: 'oh well go work customer service#it took me MONTHS to find just this internship and it's a miracle it's paid at all#it's in a nice office with nice people and i have my own computer and they feed me almost daily!#i'll live another six months in this hellhole if it means I get a guaranteed post-internship job like this#is it the ideal job? absolutely the hell not#the commute sucks i don't have work from home so i can't get away with doing other shit on the side#i feel limited in what the role requires of me vs what I'd like to make#but good fuck it's better than food service or retail#but nooooo he needs me to be his little rent cash cow without him feeling guilty about it#very tempted to bail even if it means I start eating through my savings a little bit#I don't know if I can go through the daily interrogations of 'did you apply? why aren't you hearing back? it's your fault' again#i have somewhere to go but I'm trying to keep it very 'last resort' territory#A) it would make my current work commute twice as long#B) it would require completely burning bridges with my old man bc I'd have to move out in secret#not just because i don't want him to know where the people who are sheltering me live#but also because if he saw that place even if he was willingly letting me move out he'd say 'absolutely not'#because I don't trust him not to do something weird. not necessarily DANGEROUS but. weird.#I want to burn all bridges someday!#but even now that I own my car it's still not the safest course of action#I'm so sick of being stuck dawg!#dylawa vents
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went to the farmers market cause i was going to rot if i stayed in the house any longer.
got a tomato (for dinner) and a peach (for dessert)
one lady asked me how i could stand wearing leggings out in this heat (95f/35c) lol
another lady saw my necklace and said shalom
tried a free sample of baklava (delicious) and some instant health/energy drink stuff (not bad but not my thing)
i'd had almost nothing to eat up to that point so i got a tamale for an afternoon snack plus a hibiscus agua fresca on account of the aforementioned heat. best decision ever that was one of the best tamales i've ever had and the drink was both huge and delicious. absolutely worth going for made my afternoon
#sasha speaks#now i'm home making pasta for dinner and stewing the peach to have with yogurt and granola for dessert/breakfast#it is for sure hot out and super sunny but the breeze is pretty good today and the humidity is on the low side so it's surprisingly nice ou#nice enough to walk a mile and back for a snack and some produce anyway#and my new sunscreen isn't irritating my skin so. a bonus#i was hoping for cherry tomatoes cause those are my favorite but they didn't have em so i just got one of the big red ones. oh well#pasta should come out fine regardless. hard to fuck up roast tomato pasta#i regret not getting cheese while i was there tho i'm almost out and they had one that looked perfect for pasta :/
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I FUCKING WALKED 6.5 MILES IN ONE GO TODAY
#mud rambles#I'm still catsitting lmfao and because my tire AND rim is fucked and it's sunday i do not have a car!!!!#and i can't leave those cats unfed for an entire day!!!!#I was able to get a ride home but i wouldnt have been able to get a ride there in time and i was already not there as early as i wouldve lik#on the bright side. she is supposed to be home tmrw so i shouldnt have to do that again EL OH EL#i give credit mostly to the testosterone and my naturally large calves for being able 2 do that because.#this is not a normal thing i do. i dont work out consistently at all#im. like. it sucked i had to do that but also the fact i was able to makes me rlly proud#and getting to be outside and just walk was nice especially once i caught that second wind LMFAO#having to wait for. like two hours to be picked up kinda sucked but it was peaceful. it was just too cold and getting dark so i couldnt walk#all the way back home safely because the walk is. already not fucking safe lmfao and i was wearing ALL BLACK#yeah. not fucking chancing it#i had sidewalk literally for like. 300 FEET. MAYBE#like. I live in the fucking rural ass northeastern part of the appalachian mountains. we have main routes but it's still assfuck nowhere#i am not walking 6 and a half miles IN THE FUCKING DARK especially when we're in the middle of a warm front#we have coyotes and bears and while mountain lions arent typically in my area... it would be my fucking luck to get fucking murked by one#and like. deer may not be predators but. nepa. rural areas. NIGHT??? I am not chancing coming across something ELSE. ifykyk#anyway. i am home now. all is well. but goddamn i am having an eventful ass start to the fucking year huh
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*ੈ✩‧₊˚ snuggles for hire
summary: first years try helping you out with your touch-starved problem type of post: short fics (blurbs?) characters: leona, floyd, jade, vil additional info: romantic or platonic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu
"Really? That's it?" Ace scoffs.
"So, they haven't been hugged in a while. Okay? Neither has Deuce,"
Deuce glares. It's almost menacing. "That's not true, and you know it! I get lots of hugs every time I visit home!"
"I do, too. But that's just the thing, though, ain't it?" Epel says. "They don't have no home to get hugs from."
The huddle of first years goes quiet. Some days, you become such a part of their world, they forget you're really not from it.
"...Okay, point taken," Ace sighs. "But they have Grim! And he only stinks like, half the time!"
"If memory serves, Grim usually sleeps on the floor..." Epel says. "Poor prefect, all lonely. Now even their sleep is suffering 'cause of it!"
Jack rubs the back of his neck. "It must be tough, not having anything to look forward to,"
Another melancholy silence. Finally, Ace stands, hands on his hips.
"Well, let's do something about it, then. There are tons of boys at this school- one of them should be willing to help,"
It's eight in the morning after another disappointing attempt at rest, and now you can't even sleep in. Damn visitors.
You throw open the front door.
"What? What could you possibly- wh- Leona?"
The housewarden smirks. He looks a little too proud of himself for this early in the morning...
"A little wolfie told me you weren't sleeping well. Lucky for you, that's my specialty. Now, are you gonna let me in, or what?"
He doesn't wait for an answer, letting himself in and making himself comfortable on the couch in the foyer.
He pats the spot next to him.
"Listen..." you say. "I don't know what you heard, but I'm fine."
"Don't be proud. I don't pity you, I just... owe you. Now get your butt over here, yeah?"
Leona isn't so scary when he's asleep. He's more like... the world's largest pillow. Of course, you're at risk of being smothered until you crawl into a better position, but once you're on top, he's surprisingly warm and comfortable.
You can tell you're being watched before you hear anything.
And you think you might just know wh-
"Shrimpyyy!"
For two boys so tall, the tweels are awfully quiet. Especially when it comes to "surprising" you in random places. This time: the hall.
Floyd pulls you into a bone-crushing hug while Jade watches from behind, smiling subtly.
When he finally lets you down, you're dizzy. (Though, at this point, you'll take whatever physical touch you can get).
"Shrimpyyy, why didn't you tell us you were lonely? We had to squeeze it outta Spade," Floyd pouts.
"His face makes fascinating expressions when he's afraid," Jade says, merrily.
Before you can answer, Floyd's already got you under his arm (seriously? Where do they find the strength?) and is heading straight towards the hall of mirrors.
You already know there's no getting out of this one...
Floyd is, unsurprisingly, all over, from leaning his whole body weight against you to lying across your lap, to biting your shoulder (in his sleep...?) Oh, and he drools, too.
Jade sits on your other side, one hand holding yours, the other leafing through an almanac from twenty years ago.
You're almost hesitant to admit just how nice it really is.
"And nothing else has worked?" Vil says, throwing open the door to your bedroom with no regard for a "hello" or, "how are you?"
You blink. "...Hello to you, too. May I ask what you're talking about?"
He storms inside, standing over you with his hands on his hips.
"Just that I overheard Epel Felmier asking my vice housewarden if he would be willing to satisfy your need for physical affection. You've been struggling? With sleep? And you didn't think to come to me, first?"
He almost sounds... offended that you didn't.
"...Well... I wasn't making a big deal about it,"
"So, no teas, no vitamins, no pills- nothing has helped?"
You shake your head. He sighs.
"Perhaps it is purely psychological... very well. Get up. I hope you don't toss and turn much, I'm a light sleeper,"
Vil is completely still when he sleeps. No tossing, no turning, no drooling, no snoring. He also insists on sleeping on his back, you, clinging to his side, and a single arm around you. Just as elegant as when he's awake. He'd be a true sleeping beauty if not for the mumbles of nonsense that come from him every few minutes. You swear you can make out your own name, once or twice or three times...
He is warm nonetheless, and his mumbles and idle stroking of his fingers on your waist is enough to satisfy you for a night of good sleep.
#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#queued#vil schoenheit x reader#leona kingscholar x reader#floyd leech x reader#jade leech x reader
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I HIT THE TAG LIMIT AGAIN </33 HERE WERE THREE TAGS THAT COULDN'T FIT I THINK AA this was so so good dodger i love you so much <3 EVERYONE PLEASE READ THIS ONESHOT I CANNOT ASK YOU ENOUGH PLEASE
B.I.L.L.S , t. hanamaki
american hero. . . b.i.l.l.s. by towa bird
If I had a dollar then I wouldn't have to bother 'bout the bills. I'm so tired of paying rent.
pairing : hanamaki takahiro x f!reader
cw/notes : poverty/financial insecurity, conversation about/wishing for "what could be" (and a deep dive into the feeling of wanting), use of the pet name "sweetheart," humor as a coping mechanism, language, eating used as a metaphor, lots of metaphors in general, established long-term relationship, I am genuinely very proud of this fic so if you got tagged out of the blue that's why <3
word count : 2.6k
The apartment was dingy and run down, a muted tone of gray that submerged the entire cramped space into desolace. A desolace that bled into the other rooms, through the floorboards, through every nook and cranny of the compact unit - through the bones of the pair that inhabited it. Pictures and posters littered the drab walls. Old developed pictures and various music flyers stuck to drywall with bits and pieces of scotch tape - real frames were far too expensive - as they tried desperately to combat the dreary aura of the space.
But it was difficult to fight against such longing; around every corner being yet another issue that would only ever be resolved with the one thing the pair didn’t have: funds. Air conditioning that went out every other month, as the landlord was too stingy to really fix it and complained with every call and maintenance request about the issue. Mold in the air vents, water pressure that was just short of a small stream, a lock on the door that barely bolted with a small chain lock that was used as a "replacement" that didn't really do anything. It reeked of dust and mildew, a musty smell that lingered no matter how many candles were lit and blown out. And trial and error to shut the, horribly painted, bedroom room; over the months they learned to turn the knob and slam rather than just slam.
It was a constricted, at times uncomfortable; limited space meaning old cardboard boxes stayed within the living area or bedroom - mementos gathered dust that all but covered the unit entirely. Memories shoved in a box that would barely ever see the light of day, or simply, didn’t want to. Such a place didn’t deserve such warmth. A god forsaken space didn’t deserve the radiant coziness that came with trinkets and baubles, didn’t deserve the framed pictures - that would crash to the ground anyway, as the drywall often crumbled and fragmented - and surely didn’t deserve the mellow residents who resided in it.
Both home from work, and both exhausted beyond belief, they sat together on an old, thrifted loveseat. A gaudy flower pattern that was stained and smelled of cigarettes from the latter owners, but a place to sit nonetheless. The man shuffled through a slew of mail, the woman, with her eyes closed and trying not to fall asleep right then and there, sat next to him.
“I’m so fucking tired of paying this shit,” he grumbled before throwing the envelopes onto the rickety coffee table. A table that was discounted, dirt cheap, as one leg was cracked and wobbly. Oftentimes, it broke when too much weight was put on it, duct tape lined the connection between the leg and table itself. All it held was other envelopes - bills, an array of clipped coupons, and a long forgotten coffee cup, that’s rim was chipped and the handle cracked.
“Then don’t,” the woman hummed in response, a cheeky reply to a serious notion. An exhaustion riddled in her voice that made him look over and sigh, heart strings pulled taut at seeing her weary form. “We can run away together and never have to see this shit hole again.”
He stayed quiet for a moment, letting a pause settle between them. Allowed the sound of the fan in the far corner of the room to take over the silence he offered, the hum of it engulfed the room as it rotated to cool the entire apartment. “Maybe we should,” he sighed before a small smile pulled at his lips. “We can go off grid and everything, y’know they make shows about people that live like that, right? We could be famous.”
A breath of air passed through the woman’s nose as she chuckled, and she opened her eyes to look over at him. “You’re an idiot.” Even as she smiled at him, he couldn’t help but notice just how tired she looked. Her eyes were dark and hazy, unfocused even, as it seemed like all she wanted to do was close them again - to sleep. Her work uniform crumbled and wrinkled as she sat with her legs up on the small couch, too worn out to change upon coming, to what they reluctantly called, home.
Home, to them, was coming back at odd hours. Never fully holding each other as the other had to whisk themselves away - to provide, to work. Times were fleeting, just as much as the money that came in. Gone within a second and drained from responsibilities. Every second together was taken with an ironclad grip, and sewn together with cups upon cups of coffee just to try and enjoy it all.
“Where would you want to go if we had the money to leave?” The off kilter question left his lips easily, without much thought put behind it. Because to him, that's all he ever thought about - leaving. He hoped one day he was able to scrape up enough funds, pack everything up, and leave the cramped unit all together with her by his side.
“Anywhere, honestly, this place sucks ass.” She groaned as she stretched her legs off the loveseat. A series of pops from overworked limbs hit his ears and made him frown - she didn't deserve to be this tired, not for this piece of shit apartment. Not for anything.
“I’m serious.” His normal, almost whimsical, tone went with the wind as he sat up a little straighter. He looked over to her with red tinged eyes, fatigued and strained, that swirled with an unforeseen worry.
“So am I.” A curt reply as she locked eyes with him. A realist, maybe a bit pessimistic to some, but the woman grounded herself in reality more than he. Didn't want to waste herself away with thoughts of what could be than what is. What could be was a sham, a figment of imagination she couldn't bear herself to think about often; as the thought of what is yanked her to the very pits of longing that she would later have to tear herself out of.
“I know where I’d want to go.” A dream he hadn’t told her before, he wished he had the money to surprise her with it. But that day was far off in the distance, a mere glimmer of a memory, and he cracked under the pressure of wanting to share. At least this way, they could experience the dream together.
“Yeah? Where?” She closed her eyes again and let her head fall to his shoulder.
“I’d want to go to Tokyo.”
She snorted at the thought, “spare me, Hiro, not this shit again.” A half hearted joke that landed a bit on edge, toed the line of snappy through drowsy laced words. A former wish she had heard before from him, a joke to only go to Tokyo to get piss drunk with friends.
“No, not the bar hopping thing.” He assured and waved off the remark with a small chuckle.
“Good, because you do that shit with Mattsun here anyway. You don’t need to drag me to Tokyo just for me to babysit you two idiots there.” Babysitting, truly, was an understatement to the woman. The thought made her cringe as she recalled past memories of his dear friend passed out in their bathroom, head in the toilet and completely out cold.
“I want to take you to Ueno Park to see the cherry blossoms one day.” His voice was a twinge quieter than before, a bit breathless as he couldn’t believe himself for finally saying the dream aloud. Deep brown eyes shifted over to look at the woman, whose head still rested on his shoulder - completely silent.
The comment had her at a lack of words, letting another silence pass by them once more; but it lingered far too long. A silence that, as moments passed, began to have a weight to it and started to suffocate her. Every inhale became shallower than the last, and she couldn’t find it within herself to take a single breath more of the humid, musky air the apartment provided. She felt herself tumble into the gaping hole of wanting, needing, craving - pure, unbridled hunger for more than what is. A ravishing feeling that took her by the shoulders and shoved, falling head first into the empty, hollow feeling of what could be.
What could be was far from reality, what could be couldn’t happen.
She lifted her head from his shoulder and looked over at him, eyes a bit wider than before and lips parted through means to say something - nothing ever came. “You told me three years ago you wanted to do that.” Quiet words answered her unspoken question and she sucked in a breath. She remembered telling him that vividly, could recall the day to a tee as it held importance to her.
It rained that day, poured down onto the street as they ran back to their shared apartment - a better one than what they had now. Steps taken hastily, hand in hand, as he practically dragged her through the downpour with a laugh. Both forgot an umbrella, so they ran through the rain getting more and more soaked with every step. It wasn’t far from their unit, the pair only went down the street to a convenience store. But the storm they tried to outrun inevitability caught up with them, so the leisurely walk back home turned to a sprint.
Upon their return, they found themselves sprawled out on their bedroom floor. Their clothes drenched from rain and water puddled onto the hardwood underneath them. A silly action, to lay on the floor wet. But neither minded as they giggled and laughed with one another, enjoying the other’s company.
Strawberry blonde hair stuck to his forehead and he raked a hand through it. A chuckle left his lips from an earlier conversation before he looked over at her once more, “if you could go anywhere in the world, where would you want to go?”
“What kind of question is that, Hiro?” A teasing tone laced within her cadence as she locked eyes with him. Bright and hopeful, full of love, and not an ounce of exhaustion swirling within them.
“One that I’m curious about, obviously, so indulge me.” The whimsy in his words was easily apparent, one of which she got used to quickly. And there was a sass in the timbre of his voice that muddled with care, a juxtaposition to his usual standalone brassiness.
“What’s yours?”
“This isn’t about me, it’s about you.”
He watched the woman smile before she averted her eyes to the ceiling, scrunched her brows in thought a moment before she looked at him once more. “Probably Ueno Park, in April, to see the cherry blossoms.”
“Are you serious? Anywhere in the world, and you want Tokyo?” He never looked away from the woman throughout the conversation, and when she met his gaze once more he smiled.
“Did you ask just to make fun of me, asshole?”
“No, god no.” He laughed, lips pulling into a silly smile before he took her hand in his own. “I’m just trying to figure out where I should ask you to marry me one day.”
The inescapable feeling of want consumed her, leaving nothing left behind as she was swallowed whole. A swirling sensation in her stomach that sickened her, made her ill to think about too long as all she could do was stare at him. “Takahiro.” Her words fell to a whisper as eyes flickered between his own, desperately trying to gauge the situation but to no avail. “You can’t be serious?”
“As a heart attack, sweetheart.” The smile he had started to falter, and the concern that saturated her eyes made his heart sink. But through that concern, the smallest, most miniscule, glimmer of need shone through. Even through tired, bloodshot eyes and a tinge of cynicism, she wanted the dream just as much as he, if not more.
“Hanamaki,” she breathed. “Be real for a second-” But she was cut off as he turned to face her, the old loveseat squeaking under the shift of weight, and he took her hands in his own
“I am being real, so put that name away.” Erring on defensive, put a care behind it that she couldn't ignore. A rare seriousness in his voice that made her swallow hard. “I’m taking you to see those damn cherry blossoms at some point, and when I do I'm asking you to marry me.”
She opened her mouth to say something but promptly shut it, not knowing what to say to the man. But she felt as the ravenous feeling turned to a starved, almost primal, one. Felt her stomach twist into knots at the thought - she wanted to swallow the notion completely. Needed to feel the crunch and snap of it in her mouth, wanted her teeth caught in it, needed it to be consumed until nothing was left. She abstained from could be for too long and needed to devour the concept entirely.
But could be wasn’t what is. What is left a bruise, tender and raw, that left a rotten taste in her mouth. She felt the urge to spit out the thought as it circled within her mind like a vulture, ready to dive within a split second. “But-”
“We will, I swear.” He cut off her protest and squeezed her hand. But to no avail, as she only looked at him with a sense of apprehension.
“But we're-”
“I know, I know,” he sighed. Brown eyes slid over to the envelopes on the coffee table, bold red letters catching his attention that made him close his eyes. “Believe me, I know.” A disheartening belief that caused him to take a deep breath before opening his eyes again to look at her. He brought a hand to her cheek, pale fingers gently brushed over her skin with a warmth that was inviting, loving, and selfless. He gave her a small, out of sorts, smile, “but I want to do this. For you. For us. Hell, because we deserve to do something nice. I want us to have something to look forward to other than the same, shit ass, walls everyday.”
She paused a moment, let his words sink in, before she bit down hard on the concept and refused to let go. “Ok,” she nodded carefully. “Alright, we’ll go to Ueno Park one day.” Could be tasted sweet and savory, mouth watering to think about. It eased a craving that deflected from what is - so just this once, she let herself free fall into it. “Do you even have a ring to ask me with?”
His smile pulled into a grin at her question, and he chuckled. “Would you say yes to a ring pop?”
With a paltry laugh, she leaned into his hand that was still on his cheek. “As long as it's strawberry, then absolutely, you dumbass.”
“Strawberry it is, sweetheart.”
However, he didn’t really need the sweet, confectionary ring. In one of the many old cardboard boxes within the living area and bedroom that collected dust - a particularly well kept, small box hidden in the back of their tiny, shared closet - was a ring he bought three years ago. Bought shortly after the conversation was had, when he still had the money to stretch. Stuffed between memories that would barely ever see the light of day, because a place like this didn't deserve such warmth.
But the warmth was willingly given anyway, whether the pair knew it or not.
series taglist (open, send an ASK) + a few moots bc I am genuinely very very very proud of this
@causenessus @softpia @renardiererin @kodzu-ken @phoenix-eclipses
@wyrcan @honeekyuu @wakashudou @wolffmaiden @eggyrocks
@dailyakira @cupidsblonde @mollyrolls @wolffmaiden @zumicho
@jadeoru @sandwhitches
#PT. 2 YK IT I CANNOT BE SILENCED TUMBLR I HATE YOU#i think we're both just making each other cry tonight dodger#obv i can't cry bc something is wrong with me but i think i teared up a little bit and that's basically crying atp for me#i can't tell you how much this fic means to me as well you should be so so proud of it#and the way that you described their home and the beginning and everything as well </3 omg#actual perfection dodger#literal perfection#them being too tired to even switch out of their clothes#the duct taped table#her eyes looking dull#ALL OF IT#oh my god#and i mean that all hits too bc now i'm living back at home (unfortunately) and it's just such a depression household#everything is such a mess#both my parents just work and they never see each other and they never have the time for chores#and i barely do so i do the dishes when i can and my own laundry#but like the tables are the mess#IDK THERE'S SO MUCH#and like yes right now i don't have someone to look forward to the future right now with#i don't have a love to keep me going#but this fic gives me hope tbh#i know love isn't everything or whatever but i know it's nice to have someone in your life and it can even be platonic whatever#but truly thank you for this dodger#and for giving me hope in the future again /gen#i cannot tell you how much this oneshot meant to me#how much it made me reflect on my own life because i could relate so much#and how i can also actually look forward to the future#OKAY NEW PLAN#WE BOTH PRINT OUT EACH OTHERS FICS AND ANNOTATE AND HIGHLIGHT THEM AND THEN EXCHANGE <3#BC I COULD ANNOTATE EVERYHTING HERE OMG
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When they call you clingy, so you distance yourself | Hyung Line
Warnings: Cursing
Pt2, Pt3 Maknaeline
(X)
BANGCHAN |
You walked into Chan’s studio, quietly shutting the door behind you, as to not startle him.
“Hey Chris, can we talk for a second?”
You watched as your boyfriend of a year and a half continued to type away, not acknowledging your question.
“Chris? Did you hear me?”
“Yes I heard you. I just didn't answer."
"Well, it would be nice for a little acknowledgment, I asked if we could talk." You state politely. You understood that Chan was stressed, but you believed it was basic courtesy to at least acknowledge someone - let alone your significant other - when they asked you a question.
"Well, I'm kind of busy at the moment."
"I understand it will only take two minutes ba-"
“Dammit Y/N! I'm busy right now can't you see?" He snaps. Turning towards you and showing you the screen of his laptop.
You open your mouth to speak and tell him just why you needed to talk to him at this very second but he interrupted you.
"When we first started dating, I get that you told me you were clingy. I also get that I told you I liked clingy. But my god, Y/N you're not just clingy you're fucking obsessive. And always at the wrong times! You want space when I actually have time. Yet you decide to stroll in here trying to start a damn conversation when you can clearly see I'm trying to play damage control from a fucking dumbass trainee thinking it was funny to mess with my tracks. I'm already stressed as fuck about that, yet I have you breathing down my neck like some obsessive stalker. Like for five minutes just leave me alone!"
You stiffened at Chan’s tone. It was very rare that Chan would ever raise his voice. He managed his frustrations very well and was aware of how sensitive you were so he was always careful about confrontation.
He turned around and had his back hunched over his laptop as he typed and clicked away furiously, unaware of the tears that were quickly springing to your eyes. You were frozen in place, your heart beating uncontrollably.
It took a minute before you were even able to take a breath.
You stood there long enough for Felix to come bursting through the door to come update Chan about something unimportant to the task at hand. The same task that he had snapped at you for interrupting.
And you think that what hurt most. The way the frown on his face was lessened when talking to the younger male and his cute chuckle even popped out once or twice.
You finally were able to pull yourself out of the studio, leaving behind the coat you had absentmindedly placed down out of habit when you had come in and opted to take your purse.
The air was brisk and had that dry smell it always gained before it snowed.
Your apartment was close to the studio, a 25-minute walk at most so you always opted to take a stroll when visiting Chan, but you were on a tight schedule so within a minute you were in a taxi heading home.
And just as quickly you were back in a taxi heading to the airport.
You knew it was petty of you to mute Chris's notifications. But the fact that he snapped at you was just the tip of the iceberg. You knew that once he calmed down, he would immediately be filled with guilt. And you would rather not have your phone being blown up by multiple people at once.
Are you headed to the airport?
You responded to your brother's message with a thumbs up and turned on your DND before the screen darkened with a click.
You glanced at your watch and sighed.
You'd be on a plane heading home in less than an hour and weren't even able to kiss Chris goodbye.
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MINHO |
"You're clingy as hell." Minho mumbled under his breath, thinking you wouldn't hear. But oh did you hear.
"Lee Minho what did you just say?"
He let out a sharp breath and looked up from his phone. "I called you clingy." He stated boldly, his voice even yet loud enough to be heard by Hyunjin and Han who quickly scurried away to the other half of the suite.
"And what about me is so clingy?"
Minho chuckled sarcastically. "Oh I don't Y/N, do you want me to recap the entire day for you?"
You had joined the kids on their trip to Paris. While they had been here numerous times, this was your first time traveling here and due to the anxiety of being in a new place, you attached yourself to Minho's hip since it was your first day here.
You didn't intend to be overbearing, nor did you intend to be up his ass for the entire week and a half long trip, but you wanted to get used to the surroundings and you felt most comfortable doing that with your boyfriend. Yesterday being your first day you spent the entirety of it with Minho. You had noticed quickly how his excitement had turned into unease and straight up irritation after a while. It was a weird phase of emotions considering how happy he had been but you had amounted it to you accidentally taking a wrong turn and missing a fireworks show Minho had been talking about all day. You had come into his room early this morning to apologize, but instead were meant by an overly irritable boyfriend.
"It's because I've never been here before! Did you expect me to not to ask you to show me around?"
"Y/N there is a difference between a tour guide and a fucking babysitter. You pulled me along to everywhere you wanted to go. I had plans yesterday! Certain things that I was hoping to do. I made an entire schedule and everything, but just because you wouldn't agree to be toured around the city by Chan you ruined all of that. Then you spent the entire day just pulling me along. If you wanted someone to give you an overly extensive run down of everything and keep you company, why don't you ask someone closer to your personality like Jisung or Jeongin? I'm sure they'd love talking of the ears of all the local with you. Shit, you'd probably become some street show you three."
You sucked in your cheeks and took a breath.
"That was uncalled for, you have no need to bring anyone else into this discussion."
Minho chuckled sarcastically.
"Discussion? What is there to discuss? The amount of time I want you to leave me alone? Hell, why not the entire fucking trip?" He spat out.
"You're an ass Minho."
"Yeah well at least I'm not a pain in someone else's."
You felt your bottom lip start to tremble and your chin shake.
Don't cry. You'll just be a crybaby.
"And here come the water works." He groans as if he read your mind, getting up from his bed and heading towards the room where the rest of the guys were probably trying to keep occupied as to not hear your arguing.
"So what? You're just gonna walk away?" You call out.
"YOU'RE PROVING MY FUCKING POINT!" He shouted, finally at his breaking point. "It was a mistake asking you to come on this trip." He said turning around one final time and opening the door to the other side of the suite. "I never should have asked."
"Well you know what, maybe this trip isn't the only thing you should have never asked about. And I'm starting to realize that maybe it's not the only thing I never should have said yes to." You spit out turning on your heel and slamming the door.
You furiously wiped at the tears that were sticking to your face and threw your hood up over your head as you headed to your room to contemplate what would become of you two now.
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CHANGBIN |
It was irritating to you the way Changbin was interacting with the female barista. And the irritation must have shown on your face because when he handed you your iced latte, he raised an eyebrow.
"Is everything okay jagiya?"
You sighed as you guys stepped out the shop and started making your way back towards the studio. Changbin had been really busy the last couple of weeks with preparing for a special release and collabing with a few other groups, so you hadn't been able to be around your boyfriend as often as you'd like. So you had agreed on meeting during his lunch every other day, even if the times varied.
"You just seemed really flirty with that barista." You mumbled. "It was obvious she was into you too. I mean who wouldn't you're the Seo Changbin." You giggled elbowing him playfully. You pulled out your phone to make sure there was enough time for you to walk Changbin back or if you would have to take an Uber. You nodded at the time and swiped away a few notifications from Minho.
You expected Changbin to laugh or reassure you like he usually did when you brought up his flirty habits. Instead he snorted into his cup as he took a sip of the dark liquid.
"Jealous much?"
You laughed a little. "Why would I be jealous? She isn't the one who has been dating you for three years." You said hip bumping him, but he stepped away from you rather brashly.
"Well it seems like you are because you have to bring up me and my so called flirting ever single time I talk to anyone of the female species."
"Bin it was just a joke-"
"Well I'm not joking when I say you're acting clingy as fuck." His tone was way off and he seemed to realize the shit he was setting himself up to be put in because he stopped mid stride and turned around to you with an agitated sigh.
"Do you...I don't know want to run that by me again?" You ask, firming your stance.
"God, Y/N, don't make this a big thing. Its just been a day-"
"No, no. You don't get to use that excuse Changbin. We're supposed to talk through these things. You don't just get to say something like that and then act like you didn't."
You guys stood at an impasse for a moment until he spoke up rolling his eyes.
"Fine. I think you're being clingy." He said simple. "Jealousy falls under clinginess and I think you're being jealous so therefore you are being clingy."
"Changbin it was a fucking joke! You've never reacted this way before so I don't know why you're acting this way now!"
Changbin just rolled his eyes and continued in the direction of the studio.
"Seo Changbin, where are you going?"
"To work Y/N. You know, maybe if you actually picked up a more stable job then you wouldn't have as much time to be up my ass and exaggerating about things that aren't things you should be butt hurt about."
You stiffened at Changbin's low blow and took a breath.
"We need to fix this before it gets out of hand." You grit out.
"Well maybe I don't want to fix this." He looked at his watch. "I'm late now so why don't you just drink your latte and go home to cool off."
The condescending voice Changbin was using sent you over the edge. You were angry to the point of tears.
You chucked your nearly full iced latte at him. It hit his chest with a thud, and the coffee made a rather pretty pattern on his pristine white shirt.
"Maybe that'll help you cool yourself off. Fuck you Changbin." You pushed past him and waved down the closest taxi.
Your phone was buzzing in your pocket and you pulled it out.
"Hey, are you and Changbin on your way back? I need to go over some choreography and we're filming tiktoks right when he gets back."
You did the best you could to keep your voice level when responding to Minho.
"He's on his way back now. But you need to get him a new shirt because being the dumbass he is he likes to make a mess of perfectly good things."
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HYUNJIN|
You were never very happy having to attend events with Hyunjin. It wasn't that you didn't like spending time with him, or in turn spending time with the guys events.
It was just you felt insecure being the plus one of someone like Hyunjin.
It was no secret to anyone how those who knew and perceived Hwang Hyunjin's existence thought of him.
He had a beauty that rivaled any masterpiece that had ever been painted. The elegance of a tiger lily with the face of an angel.
You knew of many people who would jump at the opportunity to be with Hyunjin. For the past 11 months you had been with him you had your fair share of run ins with crazy fans or pop stars of the like.
Once your relationship had gone public a month ago you found yourself being compared to the female idols in the industry even more than you has expected.
It seemed to be the general consensus that not many people viewed you as "beautiful enough" to be with someone like Hyunjin.
You didn't take it to heart because you decided to have the outlook of nobody being beautiful enough for Hyunjin - let alone the people writing those hateful comments considering they were most likely delusional pre-teens who made the most out of pocket edits and were in desperate need of some grass groping.
But after a month it was starting to get to you slightly. Especially as you had come across one of those edits, since you had been tagged in it after someone found your personal account.
The amount of hate messages were starting to get to change your perception on things. Because the more you were hearing it the more you were seeing and believeing it.
"Jinnie do you think that my shoulders look weird in this dress?" You walked into your living room where Hyunjin was sitting. He looked up and a bright smile showed on his face.
"I think you look beautiful jagiya!" He said standing up. He looked other worldly in his tuxedo.
"And my hair?"
"Perfect." He said placing a kiss on your forehead. "We have to leave now if we want to make it on time. Or else I would look at you all night."
By the time you had been at the event for thirty minutes you already wanted to go home. You felt like the ugliest person there, and you couldn't help but feel the eyes of many people on you.
Ever couple of minutes you found yourself looking for Hyunjin's reassurance.
"Does my stomach look bloated?"
"Is my makeup fine?"
"Can you see the pimple on my chin?"
"Are my nails okay?"
"Do I look ugly?"
"Should I make my hair look like hers next time?
Hyunjin was reassuring you, but after the third or fourth questioning of the night his answers became generic.
When he was talking to an idol and his significant other you couldn't help but start comparing yourself to her. She was so pretty.
"Hyunjin should I run home and change?" You asked quietly in English. You were doing your best to learn Korean so it would be easier to communicate with Hyunjin's parents when the time came that your families were to get closer. You wanted it to be a surprise when the time came, because you knew how much Hyunjin wanted you to get along with his family, when when the time came to meet them - he wanted to get along with your family.
"You're girlfriend is pretty clingy isn't she?" The other idol asked in his native language, assuming you didn't speak korean because of your fluency in english.
"Yeah she is extremely clingy." Hyunjin replied. "Might be the clingiest girl I've ever met."
You looked at the other idols girlfriend and she made a face, and then laughed.
"You can tell she is a foreigner by the way she acts. No one is ever as clingy as foreign partners." She joked and all three of them were laughing.
Well there is the hundredth insecurity to list.
You looked at them and tried to control your facial expressions.
"We were just telling him that you are so adorable." The girl told you.
You chuckled uncomfortably and looked over at Hyunjin. He smiled and blinked cutely at you.
You smiled back as Hyunjin turned towards the couple again to continue his conversation.
And all you could do was smile back as you pretended to not understand the words Hyunjin didn’t even realize hurt you.
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